Tuesday, June 4, 2013

The Martin Family is Growing!

Mitchell, Adelaide, Theo and I are very excited to announce that we are ADOPTING!

We are working with Indian Child Welfare (ICW) and the Cherokee Nation to grow our family! Yesterday we turned in (nearly) all of our paperwork. I know many of you may have questions so... I'll try my best to answer them. Here are the basics (who, what, when, where, and why) I am more than happy to answer any other questions you may have :)

Who? We will be adopting an Indian child, newborn to reasonably younger than Adelaide, boy or girl :)

What? ICW works with Native kiddos and families. Native kids are protected by ICWA (the Indian Child Welfare Act) that ensures that their placement preference is family, their own tribe, then another federally recognized tribe. ICWA protects not only the children as individuals but the tribe as a whole. Mitchell's family is Cherokee so we are expecting a Cherokee placement though it could be any combination of tribe.

When? Any other adoptive parents looking at this are laughing right now because in the adoption world asking for a timeline is like asking when a drought is going to end... the truth is we have NO IDEA when a child will be placed in our home. The inquiry step (which is where we are now) will take a few months and then comes the certifying step that includes the home study and such and then comes placement... it could be any amount of time. I've heard stories of placements within 2 months of being certified and stories of people waiting years. So to answer your question bluntly, I have no idea :)

Where? Our child could come from anywhere, Tribal Custody, state (any state though most likely OK or TX)... etc...

Why? Why in the world would we want to take on all these unknowns? Why in the world would we want to raise "someone else's" kid? Why would we want to take on the risks? What if the child hates you?

It seems crazy to me because adoption has been on my heart for nearly a decade now but people ask these questions! Family asks me these questions! Strangers ask me these questions! The truth is pretty simple yet infinitely deep. Put simply: because God has called me to this, God has led by example:

Romans 8:14-16

For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather the Spirt you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children.

When it says "your adoption to sonship" the Greek term refers to FULL legal standing of an adopted male heir in Roman culture.  God didn't just adopt us to "get us off the street" God adopted us to pull us in close as his children, God adopted us into FULL sonship, FULL heirs. (Let me say now, that if you don't know God, if you don't understand that He loves you and has amazing plans for your life that he wants to lead you in, please know that He does, indeed, love you. He wants to embrace you and give you joy!)

Psalm 68:5-6

A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows,
is God in his holy dwelling.
God sets the lonely in family
he leads out the prisoners with singing;
but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.

God is a father to the fatherless. He comforts those in need! Why would I not follow in His ways? He gave me peace and comfort. Why would I NOT pass that on?

James 1:27

Pure and undefiled religion is this; caring for widows and orphans.

On a more personal note, my answer to "Why?" started when I was 15. My sophomore year was not easy but God was gracious and I was able to find refuge in Him. In my many conversations with Him I wanted to know my purpose, my plan, my mission. And He answered. My third draft of my purpose statement was "To raise God's family, everyone, to realize the true love that God offers, the true hope and joy" I wrote that February 16, 2004 just after I had written down a lullaby that was in my head that I wanted to remember to sing to my someday child.

God grew my vision for my future family the summer of 2005 when, at a routine check up, I was told that I may never have a biological child (that doctor should get the award for Worst Bedside Manner) Though we all now know that I was (eventually) able to have a belly baby I am thankful (yes can you believe that I am writing this), thankful for infertility (tears in my eyes) because it got me thinking about other ways to grow a family. As I started learning more and more about adoption and what it means and what it doesn't mean, adoption became a part of me; it wrapped itself around my heart and wove itself into my very being.

I got married in 2007 and had so much fun day dreaming with Mitch about what our family would look like one day. During class I would sketch pics of our family; a hodge podge of different races and ages but all united by love!

In 2010, Mitch and I actually put hands and feet to our passions as we cared for neglected and malnourished children in Uganda. There we got to see what love really looks like. Love that conquers all, love that overcomes aduse, love that overcomes tantrums, and attachment issues. love that doesn't see color but sees heart (just like Dr. King's dream) We also got to see the hard times, we got to experience those moments of "will this relationship ever work?" "is love going to be able to reach him?""what if she doesn't ever drink this milk? she's 14 months old and only weighs 10 lbs! Dear Lord, help me feed her" We got to experience those moments of heartache as we learned one of our kids was HIV+. We got to see the heartache of a mom who was "stuck" in the adoption process and had to leave her child in Africa with us for a month or two (she is now home with him and 2 more amazing children!)....

All that to say: we are infinitely aware that we are totally unaware of what our adoptive situation is going to look like! We realize that even if we get a "perfect" child there could be issues. We realize that if a "not-so-perfect" child is placed in our home that God has an amazing talent at turning the ashes into beauty!

Adoption is messy and can be painful or hard. But I am messy and experience pain and go through hard times... so does my husband... so does my daughter... so do you

Please join us in praying over a child; he or she may already be alive, or may be in his/her mother's belly, may not even be conceived yet. Join us in praying for our child's birth family, any situation that brings a child into the "system" is painful in every direction! Pray that God gives us specialized training for whatever our child may need. Pray that God continues to prepare Adelaide to be the amazing big sister that I know she will be!

Bonus: If you made it this far here is a mini Cherokee lesson!!!!
gvgeyuhi-(gu-GAY-yu-e) is Cherokee for "I love you"

4 comments:

  1. Congratulations, to one of my favorite families. You guys are amazing. I share your heart... I've always longed to adopt. I hope someday we can. I'll be praying for you every day. <3 Love you!!

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  2. Congrats! My dad was adopted and I've always wanted to adopt. Hopefully that will one-day be a reality for us. Keep us posted!

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  3. Love this! I'm so excited for you. I will try to be better about remembering to pray for you all as you patiently wait!

    I didn't know you were told that in 2005. Sheesh. Sometime I should tell you the longer version of my sort-of-miscarriage (and lack of bedside manner). But that doesn't even COMPARE. Seriously dude. I know this is 8 years ago now (whoa.) but now I'm all mad for you! :( Thank goodness God had a wonderful spectacular perfect plan.

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