Remembering Africa...

A year ago today I was in Uganda. I had been there for just two days and was still soaking in all that I was newly surrounded by. In fact, on the 19th I was in Kampala running errands like getting money changed and searching for a shampoo in a supermarket that seemed to only have conditioner.

I thought that by this time this year life would be very different. Mitchell and I planned on having a baby belly by now but because of health issues things haven't worked that way. I have been in the midst of tons of testing and soul searching. My hope and focus has been on my future family and the joy that will one day fill our home.

I have decided that during this time of waiting that I should reflect on the past year and everything that I learned and observed while in Uganda. I will be posting pieces of my journal from that time.

Monday January 18, 2010

We arrived in Africa last night. As I laid underneath the mosquito net I listened. I heard music playing. I heard dogs barking, one pathetic cat meowing and a myriad of bird/bug noises. I could hear cars going down the red dirt road and a baby crying from across the way.

It smells different here too. It smells sweeter. Maybe the smell is hope, a pleasing scent to encourage you to dream.

There are fresh red roses on the bedside. They are beautiful.

God prepare me for the work you want me to do.

Hoping Place

I wrote a little while back, after I got back from Uganda, about the direction God is directing my life. I wrote about how I now understand that my purpose in life is to make my house a home that is open to anyone that needs a home. I have these big dreams about creating a nursery for when we are blessed with children to love and about designing a super cozy guest room for anyone needing a place of respite. I can see Mitch, Theo and I playing with our children at the park. I see all of these things. I imagine me cooking up a big meal for people who need some food. I hear a tea pot whistle on the stove as I set out some big tea cups to have heart felt conversations on the couch.

It's kind of strange. I see the finish line and I see where I am now. I am doing my best to take steps forward yet there are somethings that only God can do. It is kind of like the "waiting place" from Dr. Seuss' "O The Places You Will Go", kind of. But I am not just waiting on a train to come... or the wind to blow... I am more so in a "hoping place". I have faith that some day soon. I will put to full use all that I have been prepared to do. The bible says "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" Hebrews 11:1.

That is where I am. To the rest of the world that is rushing by at a million miles an hour it may seem like I am standing still and sometimes that makes me feel a little foolish or dumb but it really shouldn't. Does a butterfly feel foolish when it is in a cocoon? Does a seed feel dumb as it slowly grows even before it breaks the soil? No... they somehow understand that this time of hoping, this time of faith, is molding them to be stronger and to bear much fruit. I am not the first to be in this waiting place where faith is required, no, where faith is all there is.

Hebrews 11 tells of many people who only had faith and hope to spur them forward. I want to highlight some of them here. Noah had great faith when he, bearing the scorn and shame of those around him, built a giant boat on his dry land and proceeded to fill it with animals even though there was no sign of rain. I kind of feel like that. I am preparing my home for that which there is no sign of. Abraham and Sarah had great faith when they trusted that God would give them a child even though they were very old and yes they strayed from their faith and doubted and Abraham had a son with his handmade but they soon realized their error and put their faith back into God and He blessed them with Isaac. It says of Sarah that "she judged him faithful who had promised". I love that. She weighed what she had been told against what she knew and what she had seen in her life and around her and knew that God would be true. I feel like that sometimes, like nothing around me should give me any hope towards my dream but I know God and what he has done for me and how he has poured his love out onto me beyond measure and I know that he will sustain me. Hebrews also speaks about Jacob who praised God even with his dying breath. And of Moses' parents. I cannot imagine what I would do if God told me to go set my child into the Allegheny River, let alone the Nile (it has crocodiles), in a basket. I would think I had lost my mind. Surely God wouldn't ask me or call me to do something so bizarre. Yet that is what they did. They laid their new son into the Nile River in a basket and had faith that God would provide and he did. The baby was pulled out of the river by the Pharaoh's daughter. Mind blowing!

All this is mostly written out for me to process this strange place that I am in. I suppose that I have been in this "hoping place" since returning from Uganda. While in Africa I had a specific purpose and I knew what I had to do I was constantly surrounded by it. Here I am waiting. Here I am building a boat in the dry season. Here I am trusting he who has promised. Here I am putting all my love and joy into a basket and praying for the best (figuratively of course).

Maybe you are in this place too... just like me. I want to encourage you. God has done amazing things in my life. He has pulled me from dark places. He has blessed me beyond belief. And He has used me in amazing ways to bring glory to His name. I have fed and held the orphans of Africa. I have clothed those without clothes. God has used me to love and to teach. Have faith and God will use you in ways that at the end of the day leave you exhausted, humbled, in awe and completely excited for what comes next.

"In hope of eternal life, which God, who cannot lie, promised before the world began"

Titus 1:2

"I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith;"

2 Timothy 4:7

"Faithful is he that calls you, who also will do it"

1 Thessalonians 5:24

"And let us not be weary in well doing; for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not."

Galatians 6:9

"In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by an action, is dead."

James 2:17

"For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not have, we wait for it patiently"

Romans 8:24-25

"You are my refuge and my shield. I put my hope in your word."

Psalm 119:114

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer"

Roman 12:12

Soul Searching

Something that I was reminded of yesterday in church was that our relationship with God isn't just a *poof* now you understand everything. It is a wrestling, like Jacob in the desert. The hard questions and even harder answers grab onto you and wrestle with you all through the night and just as you think you are getting the upper hand the question reaches down and hurts your hip (well maybe not exactly but something like that).

I think that if all of us would be a little bit more real and actually embrace that we have questions and really allow our selfs to soul search for the answers we might all be a little better off.

So many questions run through my mind all the time that I don't know what to do with. I don't know how to interpret them, process them, and share them.

Questions like:

God why do you allow people who were so close at some point in time to walk so far away from you that just by being out of your light they seem like totally different people?

God why don't I always feel held and understood?

How is it that coming to You and following You has put me in such lonely places?

and even questions that I don't feel like even really talking about like:

God why do you allow women to get pregnant that are just going to have an abortion or who aren't going to properly care for their children when there are so many women trying desperately to have their own children?

Will it all be worth waiting for?

I used to even wonder if I was going to get bored in heaven. I used to wrestle with that question. I used to say, in my head, well I like living for Jesus but I don't know about that whole eternity stuff, it just seems to long. But I wrestled with it (more so it wrestled with me) and as I read a book, The Shack, I started realizing that heaven is about unity it is about the opposite of loneliness it is fulfillment and family and togetherness.

Or when Norah came to Acacia Tree just a frail skeleton with baggy skin who if you would try to look at her, her eyes would roll back in her head and she would shut down I really had little hope. I would question God. How could you let her suffer like this at the hands of those who are supposed to love her? How in the world will she ever make it? Because to tell you the truth to me she looked more dead than alive. I carried her to the hospital and as I was sitting in the van waiting to take her in I heard wailings start, the wailings that are called out when someone dies. Then they rolled the body by the car covered with just a sheet. The pavement was very uneven and I could see the now lifeless body shake with each pot hole and divot in the road underneath it's improper covering. I saw his empty feet sway from side to side. I saw them bring out the bed the now dead man had been lying on and place it in the sun to disinfect it. Just like that he was gone and the hospital was making way for the nest sick patient. At the same time I saw a big black bird land on the ground at the hospital which in Uganda is an omen of death waiting to take someone away, as I was told by Diana. I was terrified. Everywhere I looked it seemed that death was coming down around this little girl. I didn't understand. I wrestled with the seeming injustice. God if she isn't going to make it just call her home so she won't have to suffer anymore.

Yet we covered her in prayer. As I tried to feed her I prayed that she would take the milk because most of the time she wouldn't. As I held her or tried to even look at her I prayed that God would renew her spirit within her to have even a shred of hope. As we would bathe her we prayed that the terrible memories that seemed to be making her scream in terror at the thought of being around water would leave her alone. As I would lay her down to sleep I would pray that the demons that were surrounding her thanks to her island's witch doctor would stay away from her dreams to allow her to sleep in peace. We hoped against logic and prayed against seemingly insurmountable odds. Add this amazing and tiny little girl slowly began to thrive. She doubled in weight. She began to smile and laugh. She began to not only drink milk but to eat solids. She started sleeping well, the bad dreams were gone. She even was able to bathe without screaming in time. And now praise to God she is home with her family that now has seen the love of Jesus first hand, Jesus brought their daughter back from death. I had already left Uganda by the time she went home but I saw the picture on the Zemba Kids facebook page and the look on her father's face is priceless. The suffering is terrible but the joy in healing is greater.

When it all comes down to it. None of this really shakes my faith for long because as I look back to my past and the way my life has gone I know that nothing but the blood of Jesus has protected me and blessed me in uncountable ways.

It's not a sin to question and wrestle and figure things out. On the contrary, I believe that it makes your faith stronger because then it isn't just answers from the preacher it is answers from within yourself that have been tested with fire.

I boldly follow God because He boldly leads me, there is no other way to follow Him.

Visiting Africa

Though I am thousands of miles away I visit Uganda frequently. When I lay waiting to fall asleep at night I find myself on the red dirt roads. I find myself smelling the mix of muchomo, flowers, and fruit that flood the streets of Entebbe. I even smell the stinky silver fish and miss it. I practice walking to different places in Uganda so that I won't forget and will be ready to hit the ground running if ever I go back. Some nights I go through my small repertoire of Luganda and beat myself up when I can't remember a word (for example last night I couldn't remember the word to stand up). I think of a specific time that I said every little word that I can think of.

At night I walk through the markets and go to the beach. I sit by the pool and watch the kids play in the water. I think of Benja's sleepy smile. I think of Norah's infectious smile. I think of Sadie's tootsie roll legs. I think of Sarah Bella crying at the dinner table after she said something that we all thought was funny. I think of Rayah prancing around in a tutu and her clappy shoes. I think of Robin and Blessed and Sarah cracking jokes and eating popcorn.

I know it is silly, maybe, but I can't help but go back there. I can't help but dream of holding the babies. I can't help but love them and pray for them and dream about them. Something about being there and giving special care to these children and learning about the culture and seeing all the beauty that God has put in Africa has my heart kind of stuck there.

Pittsburgh is a place

With how many delays Mitchell and I had I wasn't sure that Pittsburgh really existed.

We have now been here for 2 weeks. I have been busy unpacking, all but about 5 boxes are unpacked now. I have also painted the master bed room a delicious chocolate brown (or Michelle-Obama-nude if you heard about all the hub-ub about her state dinner dress being called "nude" by her designer)

Our yard is a bit out of hand but I am working on it. I have also planted basil, cilantro and garlic.

Today I ran errands then made boiled eggs, pasta sauce, tuna salad, and hot sauce.

Our first Sunday we tried a church that was almost 200 years old. The community was great as well as the message but there wasn't anyone around our age or stage in life. This Sunday we tried a church that had a "self-help" message, as I like to call it. The community seemed good and they have a great children's ministry but I don't think it is the church for us.

On Monday night Mitchell and I went to a Bible study at the In the Blood Tattoo Parlor in South Side on Carson Street. It was very encouraging and we met two young married couples and few single people too. We are going to go to the church that they are associated with, Hot Metal Bridge. I am excited about the possibilities here.

Please pray that God shows us a church group and friends to have. Also please pray that He shows me my purpose here. I have good days and bad days. Today was a good day but yesterday...hmmm... not so much.

I love you all and miss you.

I will end this post with one of our sweet babies from Uganda that I miss severely!

Post Something

I haven't posted... so I probably should... I don't know what to post so I think I will just post pictures that I like.

Train outside of J Cafe in Portland, Oregon last fall

Door at Jump Theatre in San Antonio

Sweet baby River at the theatre... very sophisticated young man (son of this lovely lady)

Our future home with shutters and flowers in Pittsburgh, PA .... if everything goes well

Sweet Emanuel from Nuevo Progresso, Tamualipas, Mexico last year. His big brother Cesar gave me a yellow and white bracelet that he made

Painting I did last fall. It was inspired from a painting that I saw in Alfred Hitchcock's Rope.

Caroline with her sweet new rescue puppy, Rascal.

Pretty architectural detail in Tolar, TX.

Cloth diapers hanging on the line in Entebbe, Uganda.

Uganda

Mitchell and I have been busy. On Tuesday we went into the capital city, Kampala. All of the people, cars, and motorcycle taxis called botas can be overwhelming, especially since traffic laws and right of way seem to be novel ideas.

The children here at the baby house are precious. During the day a two and a half year old named Deborah comes. The first day she kept looking at my funny skin. Benja is two and lives here. He is such a happy little boy.

We have also started trying the food. Two nights ago we tried motoke which is kind of like mashed potatos but it is made from bananas.

Tomorrow we are going with a woman named Diana to the islands for medical outreach. Also this afternoon we may be going with her to take pictures of ten children who all need surgery of different kinds that would only cost about fifty dollars.

Prayer: please pray for the outreach on Friday and that who needs the help is there. Pray that Mitchell and I continue to adjust well. Pray that God gives us great strength and endurance to do all the things we need to do.

I love you all and thanks for the prayers.

We are here!

Thank you for all of your prayers! We are safely here. Last night we got in around 9 at night and all of our luggage was there.

Today Mitchell slept until 3 and I woke up at 10. The children are precious! I will update more later!

Pray for continued health and that our jetlag is done with. Pray that God uses us while we are here.

We leave today!

I didn't get to blog yesterday... I almost blogged everyday last week. 

Yesterday I gave Mitchell a hair cut. It is the shortest I have ever seen it but it will be good since he won't have a hair cut for three months. After Salon de Cassidy we ran last minute errands. We then began the daunting task of packing all of our bags the way that they need to be packed for our trip. Overwhelming to say the least. 

Last night my dad and Lisa through a going away party for us. It was really great. Meemaw and Peepaw were there, so were Grammy and Grampy. Aunt Caren came as well as Brad and Tammy Carlson. And Meredith and Andrew brought baby Wesley. It was really fun and I had some great food!

Our flight leaves DFW at 1:20 p.m. We are going to be leaving the house at around 10 to make sure we have plently of time to check in all of the things we are taking to orphanage (including two high chairs)

I really cannot quite comprehend that I will be leaving in three hours to the airport to leave to go to Africa for three months. I have no idea what that even means right now. I suppose that that is a good thing though because I had no trouble sleeping last night and I feel very much so at peace.

Thank you for everyone's continued prayers.

If you think about Mitchell and I in these next 30 hours please pray for our traveling and that we have no problems getting all the supplies to the orphange. Pray that we have no problems clearing our luggage and getting our visas once we get to Uganda. Pray for favor as we travel and that we have as few issues as possible. Pray that the security guards don't stop us to go through our bags because I painstaikingly packed them and it would be quite difficult to get everything to fit in them again! Pray that I don't go stir crazy on the flights. 

I love you all. Next time that I blog I will most likely be on a different continent! 

Praise God for the work he is choosing to do through Mitchell and me!

Lazy Days

Mitchell and my dad's new dog, Molly.

Today was a wonderfully lazy day. I had lunch with my mother and my sister. Then Mitch and I went and tried to run some errands, but the Half Price Books that we were trying to go to was closed. We did get to go walk around JoAnn's Fabric a little bit. There we got some canvas to make Mitchell a cloth belt for Uganda. There was a huge selection! I loved it!

Back at home I napped, played cards, WiiFitted? for an hour and studied the Luganda language. Pretty awesome.

For dinner I put some of my studying to good use. I had a baga (burger) with chipusi (chips or french fries) and amazzi (water). For dessert we had more of the pie that Caroline and I made. WONDERFUL!

Last night I felt very stressed out so Mitchell and I read Galatians. I love how tangible that book is. It blatantly tells you the fruits of the spirit, that is how we should look as Christians, as well as the armor of God, that is how to prepare yourself for battle. Daily I have to remind myself that this life is a constant battle. I have to beat down distractions and focus on the prize.

Pie.. 3.14159265358979323.....

Today my sister and I made pie!!!!! Delicious, wonderful, French silk pie. It was amazing. We danced around the kitchen to my ipod, more like me dancing and Caroline laughing at her fool of a sister. We also made a mess because my mixing bowl at home is taller.... I guess you had to be there to understand. It was so much fun. It is moments like that that stay with me. It is things like that that I will think of when we get to Uganda and when I miss my family.

Before the pie making commenced we went and ran some errands. We got bed sheets for Uganda that are zebra print and awesome. We also got some carabiners to attach extra things to our backpacks, more bug spray, seasoning spices (we were told the food is very bland in Uganda) and oxiclean.

This afternoon we met up with my grandmother, aunt, and cousin. I helped Grace Elizabeth on her homework in which we counted by tens. Counting by tens is hard work but somebody has to do it.

I have decided that I am going to keep a daily journal while I am in Uganda so that when I am old and gray I can look back on these wonderful memories, many of which I probably will have forgotten by then. I will do my best to blog as often as possible but with everything to do there I am not sure how much blogging time will allow.

Today's prayer requests: I keep thinking of last minute things that we need to get so please pray that God focuses my mind and that I don't forget anything too important, pray for Rebecca and Robert as they prepare to move on Thursday, and pray for our upcoming flights.

Iowa is far away....

Last night Mitchell and I went to First Baptist Church of Smithfield for a going away party for the Ragsdales. Rhonda Ragsdale is a super power house of a lady that organizes the yearly trips to Mexico, of which I have gone on seven. She is such an inspiration of a servants heart. Her husband, Dave, is one of the funniest people I know and has helped me realize that there will never come a day when I stop growing as a Christian.

Paul talks about our Christian life as a race, something that requires endurance and patience not as an on and off switch. I don't instantly become Christ like. I have to put myself into His hands, let Him mold me at the chosen pace (art takes time), and let Him constantly change me.

In more mathematical terms many people think of themselves as 1 dimensional, a solitary point in space without interaction. These people tend to be very sad because we were not designed as individuals, but rather as parts and pieces of a larger body. Others view themselves as 2 dimensional were they interact with those around them but nothing above. These people will often find themselves unfufilled because they don't yet comprehend that God wants a relationship with them. There are also people who live in 3 dimensions, acknowledging themselves, others, and God yet they don't search much deeper than that. There are people who live in 4 dimensions who allow God to interact with them and not just "church-God" but the living all powerful creator of the earth God who wants to completely shake your world into something amazing.

I hope that I am living in the 4d, though I know often I just live 3d. I aspire to one day live 5d, 6d, or more. What that really means I don't yet know, but I trust that as I chase after God, He will reveal Himself to me in amazing ways.

Tonight I ate dinner with the Dunlap's (now technically the Dunlaps and Whitings since Becca got married and changed her name). This week Rebecca and her husband Robert are moving to Iowa. It was great to get to see them one more time before she leaves. Becca and I have known each other since 7th grade.

Prayer Requests: That my nephew Wesley starts to feel better, that I have time to accomplish everything that I need to, and for traveling mercies.

Uptown Girls!

Yesterday was such a wonderful, relaxing day with friends and family. In the morning Mitchell and I played Wii Fit during which I learned my "body age" is 27. Then we went to my Aunt Lisa's house and played with my cousin Grace. Grace gave me her school picture and together we placed it into my planner so that I will have it with me in Uganda. FYI Grace decided it should be in the bottom left corner of the inside cover.

In the evening Mitchell and out friend Matt Berger went to the Cowboys game. While the boys were off being boys, Matt's wife and I walked around downtown Fort Worth. It was such a great evening of friendship! Nicole is the coolest. We were regular uptown girls, walking around the shops and hanging out at Starbucks for an hour just chatting!

Thanks to everyone who prayed for us yesterday. I got a text a few hours after I posted the last post saying that the pipes unfroze at my dad's house and that they didn't bust! What a blessing.

Church this morning was amazing. I love all kinds of praise and worship music but there is just something about an old hymn that gives me peace like no other. As I sat in church I just absorbed the words "Turn your eyes upon Jesus look full in His wonderful face....... The things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of his glory and grace". It is so strange looking back to the way I used to think about life and the world and comparing it to the work that God has done in me. I am not worried that I only will have 1 skirt, 3 dresses, and 1 pair of pants for 3 months. I am not worried about the lack of AC or consistent water. I am not concerned about leaving the comforts of malls and fast food and constant electricity. I am not concerned about the language differences. Just like in the song, when I focus on God everything else pales in comparison.

God is something that I couldn't understand until I just sat at His feet and let Him guide me. It seems contradictory but there is so much freedom at the feet of the Lord.

Please pray for continued peace and focus. I praise God for this week of hopeful relaxation I will be able to enjoy before heading out on our big adventure!

One Week

Today is exactly one week from our departure date. As I type I am exactly one week, to the minute, from our boarding time.

Last week I started to get a little anxious about everything but through God's help and everyone's prayers I am feeling quite a bit more relaxed. We met with Kendall yesterday morning as we left San Antonio and he gave us vitamins to take over to the children. I think that this last week is going to keep me so busy that I won't even realize how quickly the 16th is coming.

Last Sunday Mitchell's parent threw a wonderful going away party for us. We got to see family friends, kids from church, and even some of our friends like the Nicole and the Canales family. It was a complete blast.

My goal is to blog everyday this week to let you know what I am thinking but most of all to send my prayer requests out to you. Even in the days of the new church the body would share it's prayer needs with the rest of the body. Prayer needs for today: Pray that God gives me a clear mind so that I can get everything into order, pray that the pipes at my dad's house thaw so that they can have hot and cold water, pray for the orphanage in Uganda and the preparations that are being made on their end for our arrival.

To read more about the orphanage where we will be and to learn more about the children check out their blog at www.zembakids.blogspot.com

The picture is from our road trip yesterday. Cold, no make-up, and tired!

My Center

It is so crazy how fast time passes! Mitchell and I have been frantically working on moving out of our apartment and into storage. It doesn't seem like that big of a task until I realized that we not only had to pack for Uganda and put everything else in storage, we also needed clothes out for winter and for April when we get back, i.e. we have stuff everywhere!

Robin has been telling me very exciting things about the orphanage and the children there and my friend Whitney sewed me an awesome baby sling to carry the children around the compound in!

The prayers that we have been surrounded by have been absolutely wonderful. Any "logical" person would be slightly frightened or worried about leaving the comforts of home for three months to a place that they have never been, yet I sit on the title page of a new chapter in my life calmly. The placid feelings within me don't seem to match the tumultuous waves that one would think should accompany such an endeavor. Praise be to God who is my center, my shepherd, and my everything.

Please continue to pray that plans go smoothly, we already had to change our flights back home, and that God shows us what to do next.

Thanks for your prayers!

So many of you heard about the new strains on the trip. (If not read the previous post). Thank you to all the prayer warriors out there. God has already laid out the "new", more price efficient path (I say new because it is new to me... but He knew all along).

Praise God!

Really God... YOU want to use me

As I have been packing for Mitchell and my weekend trip to Dallas to talk to Cristo Viene's youth about our upcoming trip to Uganda and all of the need that is there I have been listening to the Mwangaza children's choir. Mwangaza is Swahili for "shining light" and that is what their voices are, pure and innocent light that holds the hope for the future of Uganda.

I started crying thinking, "Why do I get to go be your hands and feet God? Are you sure that I am the one that you want to use? I fail you all the time. There are others that are better suited for this." Yet from within me I hear that still small voice saying, "Don't you trust me Cassidy? I chose you to do this. I have a plan for you. I have known since before you were born that I would send you to my children across the world. I have been preparing you for this since you were born"

What a humbling experience to be chosen by God! He must love me so much. And you want to know a not so secret secret? He loves you too. He is especially fond of you. He has a plan for you that will knock you off your feet because of the magnanimity of what He wants to lay before you.

I will never be good enough to accomplish His will, yet when I live through Him, He will give me more than enough to share His love. And that is what we need, the pure undefiled love that comes directly from the Father.

Ants in my Pants

I am so wiggly. I can't stay still. I am always making lists of things we need, things we don't need, things we need to get, what we need to pack, all for Africa. I guess it is kind of a waste of time but, in a weird way I kind of feel helpless. I feel like I should already be there. I should be caring for the orphans, and walking down to the market to run errands.

I find myself already starting to dress the way I will need to while in Africa (long skirts and covered shoulders) and needless to say I am getting some funny looks when I go some where in a floor length tie die skirt with a pashmina wrapped around my shoulders, but I don't even care.

I need to get there! January 16th can't come soon enough.

Thank you for all the prayers from everyone. I used to think that I could separate myself from the past and from people in it but I have realized that everyone I come in contact with, even that guy at the gas station 2 years ago that asked if I was okay, has shaped me, changed me, and molded me.

Some changes to "me" were definitely good, others were good disguised as pain. It is so crazy what God does to make us the people that He can use to better the world. I hope that he uses Mitchell and I in awesome ways to help shape the future of Uganda.