Fun with Grace

Grace is here for a visit! She is my cousin and she is awesome. After we picked her up from the airport we headed home to eat some lunch. We quickly got our trip underway with a trip to the Carnegie Science Center.

Grace went for a spin with her new friend Olivia.

Then we toured a submarine. (If you can't tell that is Grace through the window)

She thought the sub was really cool, which it was.

I liked it too!

The first night we made tacos with homemade tortillas and got a little messy!

Grace really likes Theo and the dog that I "puppy nanny" for, Wilson.
She REALLY LOVES Wilson and he is pretty fond of her too!
We made chocolate Chip cookies too!

We just got back from a good hike at Schenely park. We came back muddy and exhausted. This is only half way through the hike and you can tell that Theo is having a fun time.

We also caught lightening bugs last night. Grace caught about 20. She said she would give me some pointers because I only caught a couple!

Check back periodically to see all the fun we are having.

On the agenda tomorrow: church, more hiking, and then the Justin Bieber movie in the park!

I STILL BELIEVE!

A realization hit me today. It was one of those crazy ones that I didn't know that I didn't feel this way until I did feel this way. Do you follow?

I was sitting at my computer playing minesweeper and listening to Pandora (yes I make great use of my time indeed). I realized, right here, doing nothing, pursuing nothing, just sitting, that God is still with me.

I didn't even know that I was doubting that. I didn't know that I wasn't certain where He was.

I was wondering when this lie started creeping in on me, the lie that God wasn't there or that he didn't care. I've been trying to get pregnant for over a year now. I one by one watched over 13 friends and family members get pregnant around me. I saw another friend who has been trying to get pregnant for 4 years miscarry. I saw several people around me get pregnant at the exact same times that I (or rather my body) failed to. I watched people around me post sonogram and ultrasound pictures. I saw their bellies slowly grow with life and hope while mine sat empty with a huge, neon lit vacancy sign, shining as a shameful beacon from within me.

Sometime during all of this, this lie, disguised as bitterness and protection from the hurt, started creeping up. It tried to swallow me whole. It made me skip church on Mothers' Day and avoid anything to do with Mothers' Day. It makes me avoid facebook for fear of another "announcement". This lie has kept from interacting with anyone pregnant or with young babies.

This lie, that God doesn't care, or that He doesn't have a plan tried to drown me.

But here is the truth. My God is BIG, He is POWERFUL, He is EVERYTHING I need, He has a plan for ME, He has a plan to make me a MOMMY. My God can see the next chapter. He sees our Christmas cards with smiling children and elated parents. He sees our car on family road trips with empty sandwich bags and crushed gold fish. He sees all of this and so, so, so much more. I am in His hands.

The song "Salvation is Here" by Hillsong United says:

"Cause I know my God saved the day
And I know His word never fails
And I know my God made a way for me
It's gonna be alright...

Salvation is here,
Salvation is here and it lives in me"

I know that my God saved the day. And I know that His word never fails and His word says in Psalm 113 that "He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the Lord." I know that God has made a way for me. I have no reason to doubt this. He has always made a way for me, why would he fail me know? He can't fail! Therefore, Cassidy, it is going to be alright.

God is with me! I still believe that God is with me!

I know that God is with you to! Find peace in the fact that even though today there may be pain one day there will be joy. And for those of you that find yourself with peace and joy in abundance encourage those around you. Lift them up and share your love for them.